The HeARTist
Ten years ago, I was professionally and personally burned out. I was disinterested in the revolving door of primary care pediatrics and exhausted from the merry-go-round of home and work.
I had lived most of my adult life with endometriosis, menorrhagia and ovarian cysts leading to chronic pelvic pain and chronic fatigue syndrome. Seasonal allergies and migraines were taking their toll on me. One day, while clearing out my spam folder, I noticed an email about a fellowship on Integrative Medicine and was intrigued enough to take a leap of faith. I completed the training and board certification in this new specialty, a healing-oriented medicine that looked at the whole person, teaching appropriate use of both conventional and complementary remedies.
I learned about self-care and began to find ways to nourish myself and my family. As a child, I had always loved to paint. As an adult, I was rediscovering how freeing it was to color outside the lines. Painting ‘I Am’ affirmations became a powerful and joyful healing avenue as I connected with my two beautiful daughters and with my own inner child. The flow of acrylic color on those white canvases filled me up so much that I started to have enough to give.
I became witness to the epidemic of toxic childhood stress, ubiquitous inflammation and chronic disease all around me and within me. It became more and more apparent to me that I was not an effective resource or guide unless I was truly committed to being on the journey to healing myself. Creating tools to build intergenerational resilience in my patients and their caregivers became a priority. I released a children’s book filled with my art. I began offering art therapy workshops and selling my affirming artwork in my community. I dived deep into the research on how music, mindfulness and art can rebuild and rewire our brains and our hearts. Health care equity and advocacy became more than just buzz words but goals to reach for and fight for.
Integrative medicine has nudged me in a fresh, cohesive direction, both professionally and personally. It has opened me up to a vibrant community of healers and teachers both globally and within my own backyard of St. Louis, who show me how to bring mind body spirit medicine into my office and into my home. I am enjoying all the hues of my healing as my practice grows in concert with my renewed zest for medicine, my renewed zest for my life.
A new space for Pediatric Integrative Medicine which has been five years in the planning finally came into being. The healing, affirming art that I created to bring me back from the brink of burnout, is now hanging in the waiting room and exam rooms of the new office. I have come full circle, helping children and families access their innate self-regulatory systems, as I learn how to access mine. The pieces of my integrated puzzle are falling into place. I am no longer defined by the diseases that ruled my life. I have energy and time for my family and for myself.
I look forward to going to work. I look forward to coming home. Everyday.