Mom, whose side are you on ? #Ferguson

"Mom which side were you on?" Talking to my kids about #Ferguson. This morning, my daughters asked me this question just as I was getting ready to drive out to Park Hills IL for my Integrative Medicine Board exam. I recognized the tone of the question immediately. It was like the tone of their question this past summer, "Is sex a dirty word ?" Somehow that conversation on the birds and the bees was so much more comfortable and straightforward than the one I was going to have to have with them today. Part of me wanted to just reassure them, dismiss the question and head out to my exam, postpone it for another time but my mommy alarm bells were ringing loud. Teachable moment. So I sat them down and first affirmed their fear and confusion. For heaven's sake, their city St Louis was burning, exploding with anger, sadness, disappointment and fear. Yes, it was scary and yes, it was very confusing. And my reply to them was, "I was on both sides." They looked puzzled. I explained that I had deep compassion for a family mourning their son's death and deep compassion for a police officer who was now living in fear and hiding. I had deep compassion for the community of Ferguson that I serve as a pediatrician and deep compassion for a police force and justice system that has lost its way. I told them that there was lots of room for me to pass judgement, criticism and opinions about both sides but that it would serve no purpose but to disturb the peace. The next question was simple, "What can we do to help?" I told them that they would each have to look inside themselves and see what they were called to do. I said that some people are called to riot, draw attention to injustice. Some people are called to march peacefully in the streets. Some people are called to volunteer at libraries, churches or help with the clean up. Others are called to paint beautiful murals on boarded up businesses. Some people are called to stay home and hug their loved ones tight.Others are called to meditate, pray and light candles for peace. I told them that my calling is to show them that peace begins inside them and in our home. That every choice we make can be violent or peaceful. And that the energy of each peaceful choice we make goes out to the world to heal it. My calling lies in being a supportive compassionate and kind doctor to the families and children affected by the turmoil when I go back to work tomorrow. I told them that when ten people look at their mom, they see ten different versions of their mom based on the filter of their life experiences. All those versions of me are true for those ten people in that moment but none of those versions are really the true me. But I can receive those ten projections of myself with love because I know who I am from the inside. And then I can choose to look back at those ten different people and instead of defining them by how different they are from me, I can see how they just reflect me back to me, because they are me. I hugged the girls tight and reassured them that our calling was to really live the book we created together I am You You are Me. To bring that Namaste factor as in the-light-in-me-thinks-the-light-in-you-is freaking-awesome factor into every encounter they have. So they can go out and create a world where every life has worth, every child is safe and show that Ferguson was a catalyst for positive change.